Reactor Side Keg Party

Explosions, problems with our water intake system, and the NRC breathing down our neck about the sirens not being ready on time has all of us in pretty low spirits this weekend, so a few of us boys decided it was time for a party. Nothing warms the heart more than a Keg party beside the blue light of the reactor's core.

Couple of big old kegs of Pabst Blue Ribbon, some music to dance by, and with all of us in our yellow suits, well it almost brings tears to the eyes. That's what people don't understand about us, we are FAMILY here at Indian Point. Sure, the cancer rates among us can be tough at times, and its hard to ignore some of the birth defects in reactor babies, then of course that dang murder/suicide really knocked us for a loop, but Indian Point is our home.

Sure, the reactors have some serious problems, but so does my pick up truck, but I am not about to have her hauled to the junk yard just because she's burning oil, and second gear is gone. A little bit of TLC, and I might just get 200,000 miles out of the old gal. The leaking fuel pools are a problem, but we check the Folgers coffee cans every day so they don't over flow to badly. The tritium and strontium 90 that is contaminating the Hudson? I am sorry, but that is one of those red herrings you hear about. With all the water moving down the Hudson, anything we dump into the river is diluted! Even Neil Sheehan gave us that one.

While we are being honest, it's true...we cannot stop a terrorist attack if one comes our way, but DAMMIT, such an event is not very likely, and we have 1500 jobs at stake here! All those millions of selfish people complaining about the risks and financial loss if an attack were to occur, and not one thought given to those of us who would be out of a job if Indian Point is not relicensed. Think about it this way...New Orleans dodged a bullet for several decades before Hurricane Katrina hit, and we are only asking you to risk two lousy decades. Why can't the public see that, and take a gamble for us, for our families? Sure, if we are wrong, there could be trillions of dollars in damages, but what if we guessed right, and nothing happens for another 20 years?

If just once some of you folks joined us for skinny dipping in the spent fuel pools, you'd understand us better, maybe even come to like the tingling sensation of irradiated water on your skin. Go for a walk through the facility, stop in the control room to listen to the ever present sounds of whistles and alarms, the gentle buzz constantly in your ears, then walk on up to the reactor Dome, and join us for a beer. We are all family here at Indian Point, and Entergy would welcome all of you with open hearts, and arm in arm we can all march into a wonderful GREEN Nuclear Tomorrow.

The Big Dogs Are PISSED-NRC Denied Our Request

Oh Man, is management PISSED OFF! Seems the explosion is causing some HUGE PROBLEMS FOR US! The word is all over the plant that the NRC has denied Entergy's request for an extension of time to get the sirens working. How did the Green Nuclear Butterfly find out the news so fast? I am thinking maybe someone inside is giving out juice. Give us a damned break, we only asked for six more months. OK, a lot of time, but we got s**t breaking loose in every direction around here.

Later this month we have to make nice with those busy bodies known as the General Public when we have our Annual Assessment Review. We are limping along after the explosion, and the repairs are going to run into millions. Praise God that our lobbyist got us that gift, when the provision to make us pay for our own security was stripped from the state budget. That SWEET DEAL will pay for almost the entire siren system if we ever get it running properly, and the repairs from the fire. All we need now, is to have inspectors finding dried white powder under the reactors. Thank God for brooms. Of course, with Neil Sheehan threatening fines and even sanctions, we need every break we can get, even if we have to hide a few safety issues.

The good news, all this activity is creating lots of overtime. The bad news, is having to limit my beer intake to a 12 pack a day. Telling you, all this extra over sight is breaking moral. I barely had time to kick one of the guards out of a slumber before an NRC inspector came in unannounced. What's next, no watching soap operas in the control room, or denying our over night security force an hour to watch, "The Daily Show" and "The Colbert Report" on Comedy Central?

Green Rating Gone...NRC Rug Rats Under Feet More

That explosion is going to be a serious pain in our arse here at the Indian Point plant, as it means more NRC staff we have to befriend and pay off. It is official, and all over the news media that we have lost our GREEN RATING, which takes away our Annual On site Deer Hunt...nothing finer than venison merinated in the reactor core before roasting! Word in the break room has it that midnight skinny dipping in the spent fuel pools is out as well.

Best get back to work...we have some valves and gauges not working, and we have to make it look like we are trying to fix them...give us a break already. These reactors are almost 40 years old, and some of the parts we cannot even get any more! A big hit with the hammer sometimes squeezes a bit more life out of the gauges, so maybe I will give that a try right after lunch.

Freaking Sirens Failed...If That Don't Beat All!

Well slap my BANANA, just when it seemed we would shut those damned ANTI-NUKERS mouths up for a few weeks, the new siren system up and failed on us! Not to worry though, cause we got Neil Sheehan on our side! He'll come through with another time extension for us, and you can bet a six pack of your best Pabst Blue Ribbon on that one by God!

The explosion is far more serious than the public knows, but the boys up in management did a good job controlling the media frenzy...they intimadate us, but sometimes maybe it is best if we keep our concerns to ourselves, like management suggests. Loose lips sink ships, and what the public doesn't know can't hurt them! (Failing weld joints, and leaking spent fuel pool aside...come on, what is a little leaked strontium 90 and tritium between good neighbors?) Guess this means we will push the whole license renewal application back a few months until the reactor dust settles a bit.

That Green Nuclear Butterfly done got all the folks over at IPSEC, Riverkeeper and Clearwater all fired up again. Thank heavens for Truther John and his White Nuclear Snowflake. Indian Point is not THAT DANGEROUS, and besides, if there is ever a serious incident at the plant, most of us will never know...the evacuation plan will not work, and that whole sheltering thing is a crock of s**t anyway. I best go kick the wife and kiss the dog, as tomorrow is another day.